jerakeen:
posted on 2003/04/13 17:03
Now showing SciFi channel
STARRING WILL WHEATON
And some other sci-fi rejects.
blech:
An experimental weapon causes the core to do bad things.
Never heard a plot like that before.
jerakeen:
They have this totally insane drilling machine with a drilling beam that makes a nice wide sandy corridor that allows for emergency wandering around outside.
The:
i mean, why put the wheels under the ship. Stick them outside. it makes more sense
blech:
Other sci-fi rejects include a random ship commander from B5 and Jadzia Dax.
I think a rich MST3K experience could be crafted from this movie.
jerakeen:
We're mainly a fan of this because WILL WHEATON is in it.
THEN HE DIES!!! BWAAHAHAAHAH UNDER LAVA!!!!!!
blech:
It's not quite alt.wesley.crusher.die.die.die, but it's close enough.
jerakeen:
LAVA! HOT!
blech:
Also contains the requisite scientific gibberish that turns out to be rubbish (the crust isn't 200km thick, if I'm remembering right). But let's face it, that's not the point.
jerakeen:
To be honest, we have seen more realistic looking underground transport systems.
Look! Helicopter blades!
blech:
Neither is the fact the guy who was the bad guy at the beginning is now the good guy. I'm sure there's time for that to change by the end.
Welcome to another spool intermixed thread-o-rama!
jerakeen:
Interestingly, the /real/ bad guys are the Chinese, with 'use science for evil' type plans. Nowadays, you coudn't use the Chinese as bad guys, they're too 'real world' bad.
blech:
Plus spool in-vision additions!
jerakeen:
Apparently, they've found a huge underground diamond, 20 miles across. Yes.
blech is laughing his arse off.
'let's not get too excited. Don't forget, we may not make it. <dramatic drums>'
blech:
Most of the special effects budget is going on 30 second shots of earthquakes, which are curiously unmoving.
The 'millions of people dying' aspect isn't being highlighted here.
jerakeen:
They haven't packed enough /wire/?
blech also points out that Wil Wheaton is spelt with just one L.
Sorry Will^H.
This film's a lot less funnier since he died.
Wow, my english is bad today.
blech:
I'm just waiting for them to blow the nukes.
jerakeen:
cough
blech:
'That limey bastard'- I see the insultomatic wasn't working well that day.
jerakeen:
The software on this thing is totally useless.
'we can ride the lava flow to the surface'. Oh boy.
oooh, it's got sky.
Saved! By the same heat-sheild system that the shuttle used!
And the hero unf-unfs with Dax!
blech:
Well, prelude to unf-unf, anyway.
jerakeen:
VERDANA!
The credits are in Verdana
blech:
Well, it's over now.
But knowing Sci-Fi, it'll be on again soon.
Maybe this spool should have had a spoiler warning at the beginning.
jerakeen:
Fuck em.
We hate you all. Yes, especially you. Sod off and DIE